Close this search box.
Close this search box.

Congress Must Push Own Elevator Buttons And Seven Other Ridiculous Claims About #Shutnado

As 80 percent of federal workers continue to report to work and most Americans go about their normal days, here are a few more things the media suggest we should be very upset about.

Yesterday we looked at seven of the most ridiculous warnings about what would happen if the federal government “shut down” (read: stopped a few of its functions for a few days) over debates on the funding of the troubled Obamacare regime. As 80 percent of federal workers continue to report to work and most Americans go about their normal days, here are a few more things the media suggest we should be very upset about:

1) Members of Congress have to push their own elevator buttons.

How will these Congresscritters make it up or down the floors of these buildings? I hope the nightly news gives us an update. I wonder if these journalists know that all other Americans push their own elevator buttons.



2) Shoeshine operations in the Capitol are temporarily gone! I repeat: Shoeshine operations in the Capitol are temporarily down!

This shoe shine situation is so dire, PBS put it in the headline. It’s probably too much to ask a federally funded media outlet to be skeptical about the need for federally funded shoe shining.

Screen Shot 2013-10-01 at 12.35.18 PM

3) The Congressional gym is closed! I know! What will we do?

Yeah, you read the above headline right. The gym, the true cost of which is shrouded in secrecy from the taxpayers who foot the bill, is going to close for a bit. The hundreds of thousands of gyms funded privately throughout the country will continue to operate, somehow.

Screen Shot 2013-10-01 at 12.38.55 PM

4) For some reason that no one in the media is curious about, the government is putting up barriers at the memorials.

Most of these are basically just areas where people walk. This bit of shutdown theater was perfected during the Clinton administration when, rather than cutting waste, the Washington Monument was closed to great dramatic effect. But as anyone who has ever walked on the National Mall can attest, most of these memorials are just things you walk by. Shuttering them is silly and journalists should point that out, rather than feed off of the theatrical antics.


Some World War II veterans (who, unlike journalists, have the audacity to reject political shutdown theater) just walked through anyway.


One can only imagine what many of these veterans might say about who is responsible for the problems in Washington. Journalists better not interview them.

5) Official account of Architect of the Capitol is not going to tweet for a few days

What will our country do if unable to get occasional tweets from the Architect of the Capitol?


6) An obscure federal Instagram account won’t have new pics for a few days

Yeah, apparently we’re spending taxpayer money on running Instagram accounts. The country’s citizens, millions of whom run their Instagram accounts for free, might want to ask why it costs so much money to run an Instagram account at a federal agency and whether that’s a good use of scarce funds.


7) Federal agency Twitter accounts tweeting that they can’t tweet

Many agencies sent out multiple tweets on their Twitter accounts about how the Twitter account would not be tweeting during #Shutnado.


Sonny Bunch sums up what journalists should be thinking here:


8) The worst problem remains the short-term shuttering of one of the nation’s many Panda Cams

The nation’s federally funded Panda Cam is inexplicably being shut down and NBC is on it:


The Washington Post is on it:


Time Magazine is on it:


And so on and so forth. The Atlanta Zoo’s (privately funded) panda cam is still going strong. Funny how that works.

Accidentally showcasing the shutdown’s benefits

In the midst of fearmongering about the shutdown, some media outlets have accidentally shown how little is changed. Here’s the Washington Post:

Screen Shot 2013-10-01 at 12.09.12 PM

Wait, so nothing changes except the IRS might have some phone lines down? Will we survive?

Here’s NBC:

Screen Shot 2013-10-01 at 1.04.28 PM

Such a shame that the KKK isn’t able to rally on federally funded park land.

Follow Mollie Hemingway on Twitter.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments