Virginia high school teacher Joe Clement is aware of the text messages parents send to students in his economics and government classes:
— “How did you do on your test?”
— “Did you get the field trip form signed?”
— “Would you like chicken or hamburgers for dinner tonight?”
Clement is asking parents to please stop texting their kids during school hours.
Parents know about the distractions and mental health issues caused by smartphones and social media. Teachers believe parents may not realize how much this affects students at school.
One problem is parents themselves, whose continuous questions contribute to constant interruptions and distractions from learning. Even when schools regulate or ban cellphones, it's difficult for teachers to enforce it. The constant buzzes from watches and phones take up critical brain space, even if kids are just checking a message.
A few changes in parents’ behavior could make phones less distracting at school. Here’s what teachers and experts suggest.
Many parents stay in touch with their child by texting, but school is a place for focusing on learning and developing independence. Teachers say you can still reach your child if there's a change in plans or a family emergency: Just contact the front office.
If the message is not urgent, it can probably wait.
Think of it this way: “If you came to school and said, ‘Can you pull my child out of calculus so I can tell them something not important?’ we would say no,” central Virginia school counselor Erin Rettig said.
Teachers want to emphasize that they are not saying parents are to blame for school cellphone battles, but that parents can do more to help. Tell your kids, for example, not to text home unless it is urgent. And if they do, ignore it.
“When your children are texting you stuff that can wait — like, ‘Can I go to Brett’s house five days from now?’ — don’t respond,” said Sabine Polak, one of three mothers who co-founded the Phone-Free Schools Movement. “You have to stop engaging. That’s just feeding the problem.”
Many parents became used to being in constant contact during the COVID-19 pandemic when kids were doing online school at home. They have continued that communication as life has returned to normal.
“We call it the digital umbilical cord. Parents can’t let go. And they need to,” Clement said.
Parents may not expect their kids to respond immediately to texts (though many do). But when students take out their phones to reply, it leads to other social media distractions.
At parent workshops, Rettig, the school counselor in Virginia, tells parents they are increasing children’s anxiety by sending messages, tracking their whereabouts and checking grades daily, which doesn’t give kids space to be independent at school.
Some teachers receive emails from parents immediately after returning graded exams, before the class is over, because kids feel the need (or are told) to report grades to parents immediately.
Dr. Libby Milkovich, a developmental and behavioral pediatrician at Children’s Mercy Kansas City, asks parents to think about what kids miss out on by having parents readily available during school hours.
Milkovich said that when kids text back and forth with their parents, they don't get to practice calming themselves or solving problems. It's easy to text, but if they don't have a phone, they have to ask the teacher or figure it out on their own.
Some kids who are against banning cellphones in school say it's useful to contact their parents when they feel anxious or worried. For children with serious anxiety who are used to texting parents for reassurance, Milkovich suggests gradually setting limits so the child can learn to be more independent. She advises parents to ask themselves: Why does my child need constant access to a phone?
She said, Parents often say, 'I want to be able to reach my child at any time,' but it has nothing to do with the child's well-being. It's because of the parents' anxiety.
Beth Black, a high school English teacher in the San Francisco Bay Area, advises parents to consider taking away their child's old phones.
At her school, students have to put their phones in a special holder when they enter classrooms. But she has seen students put their old, inactive phone there and keep the working phone with them.
Like many teachers, she says phones aren't the only issue. There's also the problem of students using earbuds.
Black said, Forty percent of my students wear at least one earbud when they come to class. They put their phone in the holder to listen to music in class with one earbud in.
Parents limiting their texts will only help to a certain extent. So work with your kids to turn off some or all of their attention-grabbing notifications.
To demonstrate how distracting smartphones are, Clement conducted an in-class experiment where he asked students to take their phones off silent and turn on notifications for two minutes.
He said, It sounded like an old-time video arcade — buzzing, dinging and ringing for two solid minutes.
Numerous studies have shown that students frequently check their phones during class. A study last year from Common Sense Media found that teens receive a lot of notifications each day, with about 25% of them appearing during the school day, mostly from friends on social media.
Emily Cherkin, a teacher-turned-consultant who specializes in screen-time management, said, Every time our focus is disrupted, it takes a lot of brain power and energy to get back on task.
Teachers say the most effective school cellphone policy is one that physically takes the phone away from the child. Otherwise, it's difficult to compete.
Randy Freiman, a high school chemistry teacher in upstate New York, said, When the phone vibrates in their pocket, their focus shifts to their pocket. And they're thinking, 'How do I get it out to the table? How do I check it?' You ask them a question and they haven’t heard a word you’ve said. Their brain is elsewhere.
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